Grief done your way
- Tony Polion
- Feb 2
- 3 min read
Updated: Feb 9

No one has the right to tell you how to grieve. Grief is an intensely personal experience, unique to each individual, and it is perfectly okay to grieve in a way that brings you peace and solace. Nobody has the authority to dictate how you should grieve, as each person's journey through loss is shaped by their relationship with the deceased, their personality, and their coping mechanisms. It's completely acceptable to mourn in a manner that brings you comfort and healing. For some, this mourning process may occur quickly, seemingly resolving itself in a short period; however, for most individuals, it is a prolonged adjustment and process that can take months or even years to navigate. This extended journey is entirely fine and valid because you loved them deeply and their absence has left a significant void in your life. There are numerous reasons why grieving in your own way is not only acceptable but also beneficial for your mental and emotional health. Indeed, grieving can be healthy and transformative, as it can foster personal growth and help you form a new connection with the deceased, allowing you to carry their memory forward in a meaningful way.
Express your emotions: It is crucial to allow yourself the space to express your emotions fully. Whether it manifests as crying, writing in a journal, listening to music that resonates with your feelings, or having heartfelt conversations with friends and family, these activities can significantly aid in processing your complex emotions. They provide an outlet for your grief and can help you begin to understand the depth of your feelings. Adjust: It's perfectly okay to experience a wide range of emotions throughout your grieving process, including joy, sadness, anger, confusion, and even moments of peace. These feelings are all part of the human experience and reflect the complexity of your relationship with the person you have lost. Enjoy life: While it may feel impossible at times, try to engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, such as walking in nature, swimming, or pursuing creative endeavors like painting or writing. These activities can serve as a reminder that life continues and that it is possible to find moments of happiness even amidst sorrow. Self-care: Prioritize your well-being by consuming fresh, nutritious foods, limiting alcohol intake, and ensuring you get adequate sleep. Taking care of your physical health can have a profound impact on your emotional state. Additionally, try to spend time outdoors daily, as nature can be incredibly healing, and take life one day at a time, allowing yourself to move through your grief at your own pace. Treasure memories: Develop a new relationship with the deceased by cherishing their memory. This can involve creating a scrapbook, sharing stories about them, or participating in activities they enjoyed. By keeping their memory alive in your heart, you can find comfort and connection even in their absence. There are so many benefits to grieving, and embracing this process is essential for healing.
You can learn to value life's fleeting moments, recognizing the importance of cherishing each day and the people in your life.
You can uncover new strengths, resilience, and independence as you navigate this difficult journey, discovering capabilities within yourself that you may not have known existed.
You can reevaluate your priorities and face your emotions head-on. Have you ever questioned whether your feelings after a loss are “normal”? Perhaps you feel ashamed of your negative emotions, thinking you should be “over it” by now. Or maybe you have a friend who has been behaving differently after a tragic event, and you wonder how to support them. These questions are common, as are the various ways individuals process their grief. There is no single way to grieve, and thus no “right” or “wrong” way to navigate this experience. Society often implies that showing emotion, especially for men and People of Color, is a sign of weakness, urging them to ‘keep it moving’ and not dwell on their feelings, but this is not a healthy perspective. “It’s OK to cry,” and it’s essential to honor your emotions, whatever they may be.
Comentarios